Jacqueline Eyre, MNCPS (Acc.) – Health & Wellbeing Counselling Services

Providing confidential, non-judgemental counselling services to individuals and to companies who want to support health and well being in the workplace.

What is Grief?

The grieving process has no defined stages. People get mixed up with the idea of specific stages to grief and over the years this has been misinterpreted from an original theory by Kubler Ross, which dealt with understanding the effects of end-of-life diagnosis prior to death.

Her work was intended to support terminal people with the psychological effect when they are preparing to die and also provide help for the caregivers. We may experience some of the elements of her theory but there is no given order to this process.

The grieving process cannot be rushed, it is simply a rollercoaster of emotions which can be triggered at any time by any particular circumstance.

At some point we will all have to endure the loss of our parents.

On this day, 40 years ago, it was St Patrick’s Day ☘️ and Mother’s Day too in 1985, and the two occasions have never fallen on the same date since.

It was the day my mum ❤️passed away suddenly without warning.

I was 15 years old and shock and denial ensued for me for many years after.

What I can tell you is that memories 💜never die, sometimes we hide them because they are too painful and upsetting to recall.

As the years roll on you begin to appreciate that with loss, change occurs, your attitudes change, you change and the effect of that loss is not the same. It is not specifically Time that heals, it’s the actions you take that promote the healing process.

There are up to 16 different types of grief and it is very personal and unique for each individual. It depends on the relationship you had with the person who has passed.

There was no help or support in the 80s for me, but now there is and my advice is to seek help and speak to a professional therapist.

Why? Someone outside your circle has no connection to the person or the trauma you are experiencing. The therapeutic process works by allowing direct and honest conversation to help navigate through all the emotions of your loss.

It doesn’t matter how long ago you suffered the event, it’s never too late to seek clarity and understanding of how you feel about a loss.

We create stories and sometimes it’s helpful to reframe and create another story.

This helps us grow and become stronger.